Parental Rights and Responsibilities
Sunday, July 22, 2007 Labels: morals 2 comments
I know I do not have kids yet, but it is always good to plan on how you will handle certain situations beforehand. Besides, I think everyone who reads this has not encountered the subjects I am about to address and if you have, then you can give some experienced advice.
First, should parents pay for some, all or none of their children’s college education? I have asked a lot of people this and the answers are fairly equal. My wife’s family was able to put here through college. I am using the G.I. Bill. We are happy that we will not have any college loans. We also realize that college is very expensive and who knows how much it will cost our future kid(s). That being said we have decided that when we do have kid(s) that we would start a college savings plan like a 529. So my answer would be to help as much as you can. We brought them into this world, we are responsible for giving them opportunities to succeed.
Secondly, what role do parents play in courtship and marriage? It seems today that the norm is to date as many people you can then when you get serious you better live together for a couple years just to make sure. People are shocked when I tell them that my wife and I did not live together before we were married. We didn’t have long lists of ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends either. I am not trying to portray myself as righteous, I am saying that this way does work. Anyway, back to the question, I think parents should play a large role in their children’s dating life. Call me old fashion, but if parents were more involved in their children’s lives it would definitely reduce teenage pregnancy and abortion. Parents need to stop trying to be friends and act more like parents.
First, should parents pay for some, all or none of their children’s college education? I have asked a lot of people this and the answers are fairly equal. My wife’s family was able to put here through college. I am using the G.I. Bill. We are happy that we will not have any college loans. We also realize that college is very expensive and who knows how much it will cost our future kid(s). That being said we have decided that when we do have kid(s) that we would start a college savings plan like a 529. So my answer would be to help as much as you can. We brought them into this world, we are responsible for giving them opportunities to succeed.
Secondly, what role do parents play in courtship and marriage? It seems today that the norm is to date as many people you can then when you get serious you better live together for a couple years just to make sure. People are shocked when I tell them that my wife and I did not live together before we were married. We didn’t have long lists of ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends either. I am not trying to portray myself as righteous, I am saying that this way does work. Anyway, back to the question, I think parents should play a large role in their children’s dating life. Call me old fashion, but if parents were more involved in their children’s lives it would definitely reduce teenage pregnancy and abortion. Parents need to stop trying to be friends and act more like parents.
Yes, parents should assist their children when it comes to financing their education. Show me an 18 year old who is equipped with the skills necessary to aid them in financing their education.
Maybe it is my Cuban upbringing but I believe that parenting does not stop at age 18, sure in the eyes of the law it does, but is this right? When I was 18 I was extremely mature for my age, however, I still needed some direction from my parents, in terms of what to do with my life, should I go to college, work for a while, join the military,etc.
I thank God for my parents and their philosophy in terms of helping me finance my college education. If it were not for them, and the wonderful direction they pointed me in (meaning encouraged me to go to college from as far as I can remember)I don't know what my life would be like today. As a parent I think if you can help financially you are obiligated to do so. When I have children the "buck" will not stop at age 18. I want to be committed to that child and assist them by providing the building blocks financially speaking so they can establish a good life for themselves, and this goes for financing an education for a trade as well.
Secondly, when it comes to courtship and marriage I believe that children should take their parents advice into account. After all your parents have seen a lot in their time and are a valuable source. When parents take an active role in their kids lives it makes a difference, it shows your child that you care. I know when I dated, it matterd to me what good ol' ma and pa thought of my date.
However there is a fine line here, my mother always told me there comes a time when a child reaches a certain age (which varies from child to child based on maturity level so I would say around 20) when you have to let them go and hope that what you taught them carries with them through the trials of life. For a young love I believe that parental involvement should be present, however when the child is older mid-twenties to thirties,etc. it would seem that parents have less and less of an influence, but still out of respect the child should take their parents feelings, and advice into account.
It would be nice to help your children with college expenses but what if you can't. I came from a situation where my mom could not afford to send me to college. I entered into college with the help of financial aid and many student loans. I knew that if she could have helped she would have and I respect and love her for doing the best she could. My husband and I send our children to a private school and so it is our plan to continue to help them with college. We may not be able to help with all of the expense and I would like to see them learn some responsibility. I know that their are many students who appreciate their parents help but I also have seen many who don't appreciate it. I don't think that it is bad parenting if you can't help your children with their college funds. I believe that you can help them through college in many other ways. Such as support, encouragement, love and a continued faith in Christ.
As for courtship...I would never encourage my children to live with someone and see if it works out. I would encourage them to follow the word of God and I hope and pray that they would ask us for our our opinions. I think we as parents should be in prayer daily for our children's spouses. I pray that my boys would marry Godly women and my girls would marry Godly men. God is the blessed controller over everything and He already knows who they are going to be with. So I think talking to Him should be the first thing we as parents should do.